Job Diary:

1st Job- IGA grocery market
Position: Grocery Store clerk - aka "everyone treats you like shit"

One time this old woman came up to the register with a watermelon. She demands that I cut it in half, because she wants only half. I reply that I'm not trained in that, and that we only sell whole watermelons. She replies by saying produce is sold by weight, and that she only wants half. I tell her to take it to the deli. Ten minutes later the deli guy comes over, "You sent her to ME? I only cut meats and cheeses. A watermelon is going to make a mess. And how the hell are we going to sell the other half?"

My manager once chased a thief half a mile to apprehend him. The thief was stealing two 18 cases of beer. My manager weighed at least 200+ pounds. He caught the thief.

People use their baby's carriage to hide suff in and try to sneak it out without paying for it. Does that make the baby an accomplice?

This job is a great way to sell booze to your underage friends.

Cat food is from the devil. My manager would make me rack the cat food. There's 3 different brands and about 20 flavors in each brand. A shelf fits about 9 cans deep, 3 high. Cans must be pulled all the way to the front and their labels lined up, sorted by flavor and brand. This makes for hours and hours of menial work that one customer can destroy in 3 seconds.

Seeing-eye dogs will try to eat food from the store.

Always check the back of the register, under the actual money drawer, for loose dinero. Finders keepers!

Tabloids are your friends, even if they're constantly lying to you.

Strawberries are the most volatile produce in terms of price.

Old people can either be the nicest or biggest assholes to you. They also constitute the extreme ranges of tips for home deliveries.

Apparently keeping cleaning products next to cooking materials is a health violation.

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR:
Job #2 - Camp Counselor aka "I get paid to abuse children"